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The phrase imposter syndrome has increasingly crept into the culture. If you haven’t heard of it, it basically means that you feel like you’re a fraud, despite evidence to the contrary. As this term has gained more purchase in our culture, it’s also been subjected to an increasing amount of scrutiny and criticism, and also confusion. So, today we’re going to try to cut through some of that with Dr. Valerie Young, who’s been an internationally recognized expert on imposter syndrome since 1982. Young is the co-founder of the Imposter Syndrome Institute. She wrote a book called, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It. As you’ll hear her explain, imposter syndrome is not just for women — men deal with it, too, as do many other people along the gender spectrum. This is the second installment of our ongoing work/life series. In this episode we talk about: The three things that define impostor syndrome  Dr. Young’s contention that imposter syndrome impacts both men and women, but tends to hold women back more What it means to shift from impostor thinking to thinking like “a humble realist” Why we need to learn to reframe competence Whether or not impostor syndrome is limited to the professional sphere The impact of identity/social group  Three tools for dealing with imposter feelings Whether or not imposter feelings ever go away What to do if you’re in a relationship with someone with imposter syndrome And whether there are any upsides to imposter syndrome Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/valerie-young-574 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is the first of a four part series on work that we’re calling, “Work Life.”  Work can play a huge role in our sanity and happiness, or lack thereof. So today we're going to tackle some common and thorny questions with a guy who has been extremely successful at work and now teaches other people how to do so.  We talk about questions such as how much work life balance should we really strive for? Is hustle culture really dead? What's the role of luck in success? How much is enough and should you bring your whole self to the office?  Scott Galloway is a professor of marketing at NYU's Stern School of Business. He's also a serial entrepreneur. He's founded nine companies, including Profit, Red Envelope, and Section Four. He's served on the boards of directors of the New York Times Company, Urban Outfitters and Panera Bread. He's the best-selling author of many books, including, The Algebra of Happiness, Post Corona, and his latest book, which is called Adrift: America in 100 Charts. He's also the host of two podcasts, Prof. G. and Pivot. The latter, Pivot, which he co-hosts with the legendary tech reporter Kara Swisher.  In this episode we talk about: Why work is such a big factor in determining our mental health What’s the number one retention factor at work How capitalism pushes us towards living to work rather than the other way around  Why Galloway believes men’s sense of self-worth is so often (maybe too often) based on their ability to earn  Where he stands on the idea of “bringing your whole self to work” How to get over being fired His thoughts on side hustles, work/life balance and whether remote work will stick around post COVID  Why he says being in the office is important for young workers if they want to get ahead, especially young men Why, despite making a great living, he still has economic anxiety The rare moments when he is able to enjoy himself and say, “this is enough” His addiction to the approval of others  How Galloway handles his critics, while retaining his willingness to go out on a limb and be controversial Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/scott-galloway-573 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

As skeptics, we can question if our lives have meaning. Reflecting on the impact of your good actions can counteract these desolate feelings. About Jay Michaelson: Dr. Jay Michaelson is a Senior Content Strategist at Ten Percent Happier and the author of seven books on meditation, including his newest, Enlightenment by Trial and Error. In his “other career,” Jay is a columnist for The Daily Beast, and was a professional LGBTQ activist for ten years. Jay is an ordained rabbi and has taught meditation in secular, Buddhist, and Jewish context for eighteen years. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “When Life Feels Pointless,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=e752ae06-4213-4731-a92b-975108aee1d7 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s hard not to like Lewis Howes. He’s extremely open about his personal struggles, from childhood trauma to romantic challenges, from family drama to failure and self-doubt. Lewis is a voracious learner, relentless in his pursuit of his interests–and he’ll bust his ass to get to the bottom of things in his own life. His main area of interest is what he calls greatness. He hosts a podcast, a very popular one, called The School of Greatness. He has spent many many years interviewing people who have excelled in all sorts of areas and has become a true student. Lewis now has a new book, called The Greatness Mindset, in which he shares what he’s learned via all of these interviews and his own personal work. In this episode we talk about: The source of Lewis’s interest in greatness The difference between a powerless mindset and a greatness mindset  The pernicious impact of self-doubt How to counter your inner critic via a ‘contract with yourself’  How to face your fears The importance of mission and purpose Where selfishness fits into finding your mission and purpose And we have a friendly debate about the law of attraction Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lewis-howes-571 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There’s so much compelling research behind the notion of self compassion. Even though many of us think we need an internal cattle prod in order to retain our edge, research shows that people who have a supportive inner attitude — who have their own back — are more resilient and effective. Not to mention happier. And nicer. And yet, it is easy for skeptics to be turned off by some of the language and practices of self compassion. So today we brought in a guest who puts it in plain English, and is very funny.  Carla Naumburg PhD is a clinical social worker, author, and mother. She has a lot to say about self compassion, and she does so in a way that skeptics will find appealing.  One other note about Carla. A lot of her books are directed at parents, especially parents who are self critical. But this episode is aimed at everybody. We do talk a little bit about parenting at the end, but it’s not the main focus. Just so you have it, her books have titles such as: How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids and You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. It’s common for parents to think they suck. It’s also common for humans to think we suck. That we are somehow terrible people. Sit back, relax, and let Carla disabuse you of that notion. In this episode we talk about: What Carla calls “shitty human syndrome” Asking ourselves, what do I need right now? How, for skeptics, the data on the effectiveness of compassion practices is a powerful incentive. The third arrow of denial and distraction The very human problem of not knowing how to deal with our feelings.   Using “noticing, connection, curiosity, and kindness” as ways to get super clear about the practice of self-compassion  Curiosity as the antidote to judgment How loving-kindness ties into the ability to treat ourselves with self-compassion. Kinder self-talk Practicing self-care by setting boundaries  Single tasking as a strategy for decreasing stress And, using acronyms like SNAFU and KISS as a simple way to quickly access complicated thoughts Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language. There is a clean version over on the TPH app and website.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carla-naumburg-570 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Feel the true strength and happiness that comes from courageous vulnerability, the valuable art of knowing yourself deeply. About Alexis Santos: Alexis has practiced and taught Insight Meditation in both the East and West since 2001. He has been a long-time student of Sayadaw U Tejaniya (a well respected meditation teacher in Burma whose teachings have attracted a global audience), and his teaching emphasizes knowing the mind through a natural and relaxed continuity -- a style of practice that's particularly useful during our crazy lives. Alexis has completed the Spirit Rock/IMS Teacher Training, teaches retreats across the globe, and currently lives in Portland, Maine. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Strength from Vulnerability,” or click here. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The human animal doesn’t love paradox. We love a clear, simple story. Us versus them. Good versus evil. But life is rarely like that. This is especially true when it comes to wrestling with history. Our guest today calls it the patriot’s dilemma. How do you love your country while also acknowledging the painful and horrifying stuff that has happened in the past? Dolly Chugh is a professor at the New York University Stern School of Business where she teaches MBA courses in leadership and management. This is her second time on the show. The last time she came on, she spoke about the concept of being “good-ish.” One of the reasons we get defensive when people criticize us is that we feel like it’s a threat to our precious notion of being a good person. But if you have a good-ish mindset, then there’s always room to grow. Her new book, A More Just Future, encourages us to do that for America. Content Warning: This episode includes brief mentions of slavery and violence. In this episode, we talked about: Why Dolly was scared to write this book What the home team bias is and how it shows up when we think about our past What belief grief is The “long time ago illusion” And, what Dolly calls being a gritty patriot  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/dolly-chugh-568 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Usually episodes of this show are organized around one big question, but today’s guest, Jonathan Haidt, is just too interesting for one clear focus. In this episode, we dig into a ton of fascinating topics, including: why it can make you happier to see your own irrationality and hypocrisy, the value of interacting with ideas you do not like, how to navigate social media sanely, how to get ahead at work (and stay happy in the process), the upside of striving, the wisdom of the Stoics, and more.  Jonathan Haidt is a renowned social psychologist from New York University’s Stern school of business and the author of many books, including: The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion, and The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. Since 2018, he’s been studying the contributions of social media to the decline of teen mental health and the rise of political dysfunction.  One other note: heads up that this conversation includes mentions of self-harm and suicide. In this episode we talk about: Haidt’s elephant and rider metaphor that explains how our minds’ operate How to use different techniques from hypnosis to Buddhist and Stoic practices to tame our unconscious Why we’ve evolved to be hypocrites and how admitting our flaws can help us come out ahead Buddhism as a counterpoint to our success oriented culture The deleterious effects of social media on democracy and young people’s mental health  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-haidt-567 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Go from "seeing red" to seeing the value in anger without being carried away by it and doing or saying things you'll regret later. About Jessica Morey: Jess Morey is a lead teacher, cofounder and former executive director of Inward Bound Mindfulness Education which runs in-depth mindfulness programming for youth, and the parents and professionals who support them across the US, and internationally. She began practicing meditation at age 14 on teen retreats offered by the Insight Meditation Society (IMS), and has maintained a consistent commitment to meditation since.  To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Transforming Anger,” or click here: "https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=bf4246e0-89b5-47a2-a359-fbcae2103dbf". See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Very often, when somebody pisses us off, our first instinct might be to plan some sort of revenge even if we rarely, if ever, actually follow through with it. Obviously, the trait of revenge seeking is counterproductive and it happens to also feel terrible. All the great wisdom traditions tell us that we should be forgiving instead and this isn’t just some sort of finger wagging from the morality police; it’s just straight up good advice. It’s in your best interest not to be coiled up inside endless revenge fantasies. Of course, this is all easier said than done. Today, though, our guest, sujatha baliga, both says it, and does it. She has an extraordinary story: she was horribly abused by a family member, and then, after an encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, learned how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable. What’s more, she now helps other people do that. Perhaps, starting now, even you. sujatha baliga is a long time Buddhist practitioner and internationally recognized leader in the field of restorative justice. She was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow and is working on her first book.  Content Warning: This episode includes multiple references to violent and traumatic experiences, including homicide and incest. In this episode we talk about: Her personal story, including her early experience with sexual assault within her family Her life-changing encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, and her experience with learning to forgive with the help of meditation Her experience working in the criminal justice system  Her definition of restorative justice, why she believes we need it, and the three key questions it asks in each case Whether there is evidence that restorative justice works The limits of restorative justice What happens if someone who is the victim of a crime does want traditional punishment or even revenge How you can apply what she’s learned in her life — including her time in the field of restorative justice — to our own lives And a specific meditation practice that can help you do it Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sujatha-baliga-565 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Meditation and mindfulness doesn’t uproot your capacity to be judgmental, but it can help you see the value in being judgmental by learning how to work with the judging mind.  La Sarmiento has been practicing Vipassana meditation since 1998. La is a mentor for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, a teacher with Cloud Sangha, and a contributor to the Ten Percent Happier app. In this episode we talk about: How mindfulness can help us identify when we’re being judgmental The difference between discernment and judgment How it can be so delicious to be judgmental of others – but why it’s actually harmful to ourselves and others The four questions to ask when we notice ourselves going into judgment mode  How to operationalize the phrase “am I suffering right now?”  Investigating the motivations behind striving for success  Why owning up to being a jerk is sometimes the exact right answer Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/la-sarmiento-564 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Learn how to grow your resilience by connecting to a positive attitude, resolve, and allowing yourself to say yes to difficult emotions. About Sebene Selassie: Sebene Selassie was born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and began studying Buddhism thirty years ago as an undergrad who majored in Comparative Religious Studies. Now, she is a meditation teacher, speaker, and author of the book “You Belong: A Call for Connection.”  To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Resilience.” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=460c0495-7971-4c98-8ed8-bb03a6c23ed0. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is the last episode in our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.  Today we’re probing a mystery: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint do we take heartbreak and rejection so hard? It can send the body and mind into a vicious spiral. As one genomics researcher has said, “heartbreak is one of the hidden landmines of human existence.“  There are countless pieces of art dedicated to heartbreak. Songs, movies, poems, the list is pretty much endless. But what does science say? Why does this happen to us? How exactly does the body react to a bad break up, from a romantic partnership, or a friendship or even a job? And what can we do to get over it? These are the questions the writer, Florence Williams decided to tackle after her own 25 year marriage fell apart. And the answers are fascinating. Florence Williams is a science journalist and author, and a contributing editor at Outside Magazine. Her latest book is called, Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey. It is just out in paperback, and has been nominated for the PEN/Wilson Award for Literary Science Writing.  In this episode we talk about: The passage of time as a way to heal all wounds The role purpose plays in recovery  William’s three part heartbreak recovery toolkit (calming down, connecting to other people and finding purpose) The connection between openness and resilience How to become more open to a lack of closure The good and bad news about heartbreak And, rejecting some of the conventional approaches to heartbreak Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/florence-williams-562  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.    Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends. This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.  In this episode we talk about: Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory” The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness  Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing) How to reframe social rejection The importance of generosity How to handle conflict with your friends The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships When to walk away from a relationship  How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines How to deal with social anxiety And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mindfulness isn't about making your heart open. It's about feeling however you feel, respecting that, and sometimes, saying no. About Cara Lai: Cara Lai has worked as an artist, wilderness guide, social worker and psychotherapist. She teaches teens and adults at Inward Bound Mindfulness Education, Spirit Rock, Insight Meditation Society, and UCLA. To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Boundaries: Saying Yes to Saying No.” See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you’re part of a family, you’ve probably experienced some level of drama. Maybe it’s minor annoyances, like an uncle who chews too loudly. Maybe it’s divorce, sibling rivalry, or abuse. There are lots of flavors in this noxious cornucopia. Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed clinical social worker and the author of the new book Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships. She’s here to talk about how to handle family drama of all types. This is episode two of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.  Content Warning: There are some brief mentions of rape and incest in this conversation. We also talk about substance abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse. In this episode we talk about: Nedra’s own experiences with family dysfunction The terms boundary issues, enmeshment, and codependency The uncomfortable realization that you might be (at least part of) the problem The limits of compassion What to remember if you choose to spend time with a family member with whom you have a difficult relationship Why you should not “un-become” yourself just to fit in with your family Why shaming people doesn’t make them better–and what does The temptation of receding into a victim mentality, and how to avoid it When to end a relationship What the term “toxic forgiveness” means Some of the myths about forgiveness And her remedies for various family drama scenarios, including: How do you get your mom to see a therapist? Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/nedra-glover-tawwab-559 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is part one of our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.  Today’s guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine’s Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships.  Myisha Battle is the author of the book, “This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between.” She also hosts the podcasts Down for Whatever, and Dating White. Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships.  Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex.  In this episode we talk about: Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways Understanding men’s and women’s cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships The myth of finding “the one” The orgasm gap Bromance And if you’re looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/myisha-battle-558 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Sharon expertly guides you through a body scan to help you feel relaxed and at home in your body. About Sharon Salzberg: Sharon Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is one of the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over 45 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is a co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and the author of twelve books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindness.  To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Basic Body Scan” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=c637cfaa-665c-4a37-9c03-af3ef321d17d See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So many people are interested in their family tree. What kind of lives did our ancestors lead and what do their stories say about us? Today’s guest, Spring Washam, asks us to reckon with the people who have come before us in order to fully understand who we are and why we do the things we do. Washam is a well-known teacher, author, and visionary leader based in Oakland, California. She is the author of A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Courage and Wisdom in Any Moment and her newest book, The Spirit of Harriet Tubman: Awakening from the Underground. Spring is considered a pioneer in bringing mindfulness-based meditation practices to diverse communities. She is one of the founding teachers at the East Bay Meditation Center, located in downtown Oakland, CA and has practiced and studied Buddhist philosophy in both the Theravada and Tibetan schools of Buddhism since 1999. In this episode we talk about: How Spring came to write about Harriet Tubman’s life Her work with plant medicine and the shamanic traditions The dream and the “conversations” Spring had with Tubman Why we are all so interested in ancestry How we can deepen our relationship with our ancestors  Family Constellation Therapy as a modality for doing ancestry work  Spring’s own family history Why she is still processing the experience of writing her book about Harriet Tubman  What she means by the “inner underground railroad” and how it is alive today And, how, in the inner underground railroad, freedom equates to nirvana  Content Warning: mentions of suicide Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/spring-washam-556 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There may be a temptation in some circles to dismiss intuition as witchy, folkloric, or unscientific but there’s actually a ton of science around this. Our guest, author, actress and director, Amber Tamblyn will guide us through this. Tamblyn argues that intuition is a trainable skill but that this south-of-the-neck intelligence is often obscured by being too stuck in our heads and out of touch with our bodies.  Tamblyn has been nominated for Emmy®, Golden Globe, and Independent Spirit Awards. Her work in television spans over two decades including starring roles on House M.D., and Two and a Half Men. On the big screen, she starred in movies such as The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and 127 Hours. She’s written seven books, including her latest, which is called Listening in the Dark: Women Reclaiming the Power of Intuition.  In this episode we talk about: How she defines intuition, and the role it plays as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious parts of our minds Why we are conditioned to validate rational intelligence over intuitive intelligence   The gut/brain connection, and why the enteric nervous system is known as the “second brain” Practical tips for getting better at listening to our bodies The role of meditation in boosting intuition The scientific research that points towards the importance of having a relationship with nature, and how this can improve our intuition The relationship between intuition and creativity How we should think about dream life What to do when you’re not sure whether you should trust your gut How to recognize the difference between anxiety and intuition And why our society has downplayed the importance of intuition, which has been a tool used against women and men Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amber-tamblyn-555 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.